I will return to investigative journalism.
I’m currently in long-term hospital care stabilising my neurological and epileptic condition after nearly a year of medical crisis.
For now, I will remain offline and non-contactable, but I will return. In November 2024, clonazepam—the only medication I had been on for over a decade to manage epilepsy and Tourette’s—became unavailable in Australia. What followed was a year of life-threatening seizures, worsening movement disorders, and psychological deterioration.
I was prescribed Clobazam and two other benzodiazepines to manage the withdrawal, but due to severe drug interactions, my other epilepsy medication (primidone) could not convert into phenobarbital, rendering it useless. This caused near-daily seizures, fractured ribs, cognitive impairment, and involuntary behaviour.
Only barbiturates, specifically primidone/phenobarbital, have ever effectively treated my seizures and neurological symptoms. Benzodiazepines did not work for seizure control but were essential for movement regulation and Tourette’s. Forced off them without proper replacement, my condition became extreme.
After nearly a year of being mischaracterised, I’ve finally been admitted to hospital, where I am now undergoing: Full benzodiazepine detox (including Clobazam withdrawal) Monotherapy stabilisation on Primidone (barbiturate) Ongoing neurological support to recover cognition, motor control, and behavioural stability This year has nearly killed me more than once.
What you saw—tremors, erratic tone, long absences—was the visible cost. What happens now: I will return to investigative journalism. I will not check emails, DMs, or messages and have all notifications off on all my accounts and will not be checking until discharged and cognitively stable.
I am aware of the recent 764 school shooting and its link to subjects I’ve covered. I will speak on it—in full—when I have the clarity and strength to do so. I am not quitting. I am healing. To those new to my work: thank you for watching the archive.
To those who have followed for years: thank you for staying.
To my friends and contacts in Ukraine—I am truly sorry for my silence. I didn’t want to place the weight of my problems on those in warzones.
I think of you often and will reach out once recovered. This was not addiction. This was not withdrawal by choice. This was supply collapse, mismanagement, and a failed medical handover during one of the worst years of my life. I will return stronger, clearer, and more deliberate.
—Kian Tveitan
kianlayer0
